


Band AU Oneshots

by spacetimerift



Category: The Lobby
Genre: Dave has cat ears because he deserves it, Noah Quin and Moon aren't mentioned in this chapter but I'm gonna get to them I swear, Other, once again I just gotta say Judas and Gerard are pretty fuckin gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21626305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacetimerift/pseuds/spacetimerift
Summary: Do you ever ask yourself "what if the Lobby characters were in a band?"Because I do that like all the time so please enjoy if you've ever thought that
Relationships: Judas/Gerard | Gee (The Lobby)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Backstage is Sacred

Backstage, Gerard leaned against a wall, pressing the side of his face into the cool brick. Everything was always too hot on performance days, with all the stage lights only aggravating the heat brought on by the costumes. Out of all the members of The Lobby, he was probably the second-least dressed, with only Judas and their insistence on not wearing anything aside from skinny jeans and a leather vest beating him. Still, the butchered denim jacket surround the black t-shirt that already clung to his chest from sweat felt like a sauna. Luckily, their soundcheck had gone quickly and uneventfully, or the show would have started even farther into the midday hours. Even from the darkest parts of the venue, he could feel the pulse and chant of the crowd, which would shortly become the monster sucking out his lifeforce. Pushing one booted foot off the wall, he trudged off toward their dressing room. The last thing he wanted was for this concert to start late because he’d lost track of time.  
In the dressing room, Runo and Nine were having bigger problems. “What do you _mean_ you put him in the closet because he was panicking??” “I don’t know! It seemed like a good idea at the time!” When Gerard opened the door, the first thing he saw was Nine hiding behind a chair while Runo raised her bass in a highly threatening manner. He stood there in shock for a second before turning to their bassist, “why are you threatening him now? We’re on in twenty.” Without looking away from the offending drummer, she all but yelled “he locked Dave in the CLOSET!” Gerard nodded slowly as he edged around her space to the closet door, which he unlocked and opened a crack. When he peeked in, he saw their purple-haired triangle player curled in a ball on the floor. Opening the door fully, he walked over and knelt next to Dave. “Hey,” he said as soothingly as he could, petting the other boy’s hair, “what’s up, bro? Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Dave nuzzled into the touch but whimpered. “I’m scared.”  
~ ~ ~  
Judas scowled at the curtains as if they had a vendetta against the fabric. What could possibly have been taking those four so long? Nine had said he’d gone back for a spare set of drumsticks, but that was a whole ten minutes ago. And Gerard may be laidback, but he was a real stickler for time when it came to starting practices or shows. Hell, he’d punched Judas in the face once when they were late for soundcheck, but that was long before they’d started dating. Right on cue, Judas’s phone buzzed, and they saw that they’d received a text from Gerard saying that Dave was panicking and Runo and Nine were on the verge of a fistfight. Sighing, they started their trek back to the dressing room, waving a friendly dismissive hand when Pam started to follow them.  
When Judas arrived, Gerard had coaxed Dave out of the closet, but the purple-haired boy was clinging to the vocalist’s waist for dear life. Gerard was whispering in Dave’s ear and gently rubbing his back, but the look in his eyes made Judas he realize he was far out of his depth. Stalking over to Runo, they took the bass out of her hands, hung it on its stand, and pointed towards Dave. “If you have time to threaten Nine, you have time to help Dave. For fuck’s sake, you’re the only one who can reliably get him to calm down.” Understanding dawned in her eyes, and she carefully extricated Gerard from Dave’s arms so she could cradle the small boy and work her maternal instinct magic. Gerard was intensely grateful for the reprieve, and showed Judas his thanks by throwing his arms around their neck and pressing kisses all over their cheeks. Against their better judgement, they started to giggle. “Baabe, you’re ruining my solid and unflappable aura,” they complained, but tangled their hands in his hair to pull him in for a real kiss.  
The two broke apart when Nine made elaborate fake gagging noises at their display of affection, which made Gerard blush and pull the collar of his jacket up to hide most of his face. With a little chuckle, the drummer set off toward the wings to wait for the band’s entrance cue since he had to be one of the first onstage. Runo followed him with Dave holding her hand and smiling at her, his ears unfolding as he relaxed into the rhythm of the show. “Well, my dear sir, it appears to be just the two of us.” Pulling his jacket away from his face just a little, Gerard teasingly reminded his partner that they had little more than ten minutes before call at this point. “That’s enough for a little messing around,” Judas said, grinning, as they picked up their boyfriend and kicked the door shut.


	2. Walmart Runs for the Young and Adventurous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to Walmart at 2am because uh, because why the hell not

At the bright and early hour of 2 am, The Lobby decided to take a snack break and stretch all their legs, as people in their late teens to early twenties do. After much clamouring from Dave and Nine, Quin pulled into a Walmart parking lot but not without a couple slightly aggressive turns to get back at them for being annoying. Once she engaged the parking brake, the group practically flooded out of the vehicle's doors in an attempt at an unorganized footrace to the store. Gerard and Judas hung back, laughing at their friend's antics as they slowly walked across the dark parking lot hand-in-hand. Every few steps, Gerard tried to lean up on his toes and kiss Judas, who only poked his nose and stuck out their tongue. Bardolph stayed back around their vicinity with his head firmly stuck in the pages of Dante's _Inferno_ , either oblivious to the couple's actions or pretending to be, neither could really tell with him. Somehow, Moon always read the unreadable and everyone else was left desperately confused as to how they'd accomplished such a feat. Hopefully unbeknownst to them, Judas had organized a betting pool, the proceeds of which would go to whoever first figured out their secret.  
Quin and Runo reached the store first, followed almost immediately by Dave and Nine, who would have been there before had they not gotten distracted trying to catch a squirrel. With the group's mother figure leading, the small band headed towards what Quin declared "the Best snacks Walmart has to offer™," to which Nine scoffed and responded "not like that's hard," leading to his immediate and unanimous designation as snack sherpa. He grumbled a little in response but went along with it, drumming was almost definitely more of a workout than carrying some plastic bags around. Still, he wasn't the kind of person to let himself be easily enslaved, and tried to sneak little things into everyone else's pockets so he wouldn't be carrying everything. Once, a lollipop stuck in Dave's hair for nearly five minutes, which Nine considered a great accomplishment and a definitive win over the purple-haired boy. Maybe Runo chewed him out a little but overall it was sooo worth it.  
In the meantime, Noah and Pam had gotten lost somewhere in the store, as evidenced by the massive influx of texts in the band group chat, most of which were frantic and confused-looking emojis from Noah. In response to being asked to describe the region around them, the most coherent response was "well I'm in a bin of plushies," so Gerard made the executive decision of ignoring the situation and hoping the other two would find their way out with as little difficulty as possible. On his way around the building, pulling Judas along behind him with Bardolph still on their trail, he carefully picked up three boxes of pocky, one bag of gummy worms (after examining his options for fifteen minutes), and two bags of ground coffee. Raising an eyebrow, Judas said "I thought you only wanted 'the essentials,' babe?" Gerard gasped, replying that clearly these were the absolute necessities of life and he could and would die without them. Chuckling, Judas kissed him on the forehead and took advantage of his momentary embarrassment to scoop him into their arms and start running towards the checkout while their boyfriend shrieked in surprise. Bardolph rolled his eyes at them and went to find Moon outside the store, since they actually only bought necessities.  
Quin and Nine were pretending not to speak to each other after an intense argument over the pros and cons of specific types of Cheetos which nearly resulted in Dave getting launched through a shelf. As such, he was now outside sulking with Runo, who was hugging him and murmuring about how sweet and valid a boy he was. Noah and Pam found their way out by sheer coincidence when Judas became entranced by a multi-coloured rubber snake and reached for it at the exact moment Noah also did. Both of them jumped back and crouched defensively before recognizing each other. Gerard was at the end of the aisle laughing his ass off until Noah directed an intense glare at him and he calmed down. That didn't stop him from randomly giggling at times for the rest of the Walmart adventure and the next hour of the continuing drive.


	3. Extra, Extra! Read All About It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lobby starts to receive some... unusual mail.

“Uhhhh… hey darling, who’s this envelope from?” Gerard was sorting the band’s mail, as best he could, between fan letters, junk mail, credit card statements, and parental good wishes. The pristine white envelope he held, though, had him completely stumped. It was very neatly addressed to Gerard D’Avignon, c/o Judas Rook at their apartment’s address. Judas rather blearily emerged from the kitchenette with the largest available mug filled to the brim with coffee held tightly in their hands. “Whazuh?” They asked astutely when their boyfriend held the mystery item out towards them. He smiled, tucked the envelope into a breast pocket, and leaned up to kiss their forehead. “We got an envelope and I don’t know what’s in it,” he explained, “and it’s addressed oddly, see this?” He pulled it back out to point at the impeccable script on the front. Aside from the address and appropriate stamps, the envelope was completely blank. Judas shrugged and leaned down slightly to kiss Gerard’s cheek. “’s too early for mysteries,” they muttered grumpily. Gerard just frowned down at the letter for a moment before reaching into his jacket pockets for a pocketknife and carefully lifting the flap. Inside were several sheets of printer paper filled with single-spaced text. The couple stared at the papers, completely dumbfounded. Gerard thumbed through the packet, skimming over the writing. Abruptly, he choked on air and nearly dropped the envelope. “Darling,” he said quietly with just a hint of a tremor in his voice, handing them the mysterious article, “it’s a smutfic. About _us_.”  
The next day, Gerard went out to collect the mail again, stopping short while flipping through it when he saw an identical white envelope, this time addressed not to him, but to Noah Dupont, c/o Quin Taylor. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, starting a jog back to the apartment, “shit, shit, shit, SHIT!” Before he could unlock the apartment door, Dave opened it and ran directly into the vocalist, knocking both of them onto the floor of the hallway and scattering the mail everywhere. The purple-haired boy jumped up and immediately started trying to help his bandmate up. Gerard’s lungs, however, had other ideas entirely, and kept him wheezing on the floor for a few minutes while Dave directed his attention to picking up the mailings. “Huh!” he said interestedly as he grabbed the strange envelope, “didn’t I see one of these addressed to you just the other day?” Gerard nodded, picking himself up gingerly from the carpet and saying, before he could stop himself, “it was a fanfic about me and Judas.” Realizing what he’d said, he immediately excused himself and ran into the apartment to hide. Out in the hallway, Dave’s eyes widened as he stared in turn at Gerard’s retreating back and the glistening white envelope in his hand. Intensely curious, he sorted the rest of the mail like Gerard would have and went to knock lightly on Noah’s bedroom door. From inside, he heard a thump followed by a muffled “ow” as Noah gracefully exited his bed onto the floor. Moments later, the door cracked open to reveal the man himself barefoot and wrapped in a quilt that failed to hide how messed up his hair got during the night. “Special delivery!” Dave announced, presenting the envelope to Noah, who mumbled something about Minecraft, grabbed it, and shut the door.  
Late that afternoon, once nearly all the members of the group were awake and respectable-looking, Gerard asked Noah if he’d gotten any interesting mail. Judas glanced at him and raised an eyebrow, causing his boyfriend to blush momentarily before turning his attention back to the guitarist, who only shrugged. “I got some weird envelope today but haven’t opened it yet,” he said, eating a slice of the orange he was peeling, “thought it might be cursed or something. Dave was intently monitoring Gerard’s reactions from the other end of the table and piped up to say “yaknow, Gee and Judas got something like it yesterday, maybe you should ask ‘em about it!” Gerard’s mouth dropped open and he cycled through several emotions before abruptly standing up to claim he’d just noticed his phone was ringing and nearly knocking over his chair in his haste to exit the room. Judas just sipped their chai and smirked at Noah. “All I’ll say is it was an interesting…. and fun read,” they remarked, “now I think I’d better go check on my boyfriend before he accidentally breaks something.” Slipping Noah a quick wink, they took their tea, pushed their chair back in, and followed Gerard. Dave, remembered what he’d been told earlier, barely managed to stifle a giggle by slapping his hand over his mouth. Runo gave him a weird look but he passed it off as a cough and kept playing games on his phone.


	4. So you know that one Talking Heads song?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lobby wants to do arson, that's all folks

“Now I’m not saying to do arson,” Nine commented to Gerard, tossing one of his drumsticks in the air, “but I think we should do arson.” Judas promptly burst through the door holding the biggest Faygo bottle either of the other two had ever seen. “Did somebody say ARSON!?!?!?!” they exclaimed, eyes lighting up behind their ever-present shades. Gerard nodded as he walked over to hug Judas, “Yeah, Nine said we should do it.”  
“Correction: I said I _think_ we should do it, which is very different. I do also want to do it though, so I might be a little biased here.”  
Judas scooped Gerard up in their arms, practically vibrating with excitement. “I’ll go tell Noah and Dave!” they said, and ran out of the room.  
Nine took a sip of his strawberry Fanta and sighed when he heard them yell “NOAH! DAVE!! WE’RE DOING ARSON!!!!” at the top of their lungs. Then followed a loud thump, Gerard shrieking, something bouncing off a few walls, and Runo screaming “This is why we can’t have nice things, you lovable idiots!!”  
Immediately, she burst into the room where Nine was sitting with his head in his hands, and said “I’m in.”  
“What?” asked Nine intelligently, to which Runo rolled her eyes dramatically. “The arson, you dummy,” she exclaimed, “what, did you really think you could do crimes _without me?!?!”_  
~ ~ ~ ~  
“Alright, everyone,” said Noah, “do we know our positions and duties?” He was answered by eight affirmative noises and Dave raising his hand. “Yes, Dave, you have a question?”  
“Haha yeah!” the purple-haired boy replied brightly, “…what’s my job again?” Judas casually slung an arm around the short boy’s shoulders, “so while all this,” they said, gesturing vaguely at the abandoned warehouse in front of them “is happening, you’re watching for people.  
“And if there are people, you distract them.” They glanced down briefly and added “the lack of pants should help you on that front.”  
Dave hissed and pouted at them, but dutifully went off to serve as lookout. Grinning triumphantly, Judas flipped their light green hair out of their eyes, and shouted “ARSON!!” before sprinting towards the building with Gerard, Noah, and Runo hot on their heels.  
Once the nine (haha) of them arrived inside safely, Gerard resumed tossing the Zippo lighter Noah had given him from hand to hand, flicking it open and on every now and then.  
Judas snuck up behind him and wrapped their arms around his waist, kissing the side of his neck as he squirmed and giggled. “Darling!” he gasped, “this is already going to be a crime scene…”  
Chuckling, they pulled him flush against them as he let his head fall onto their shoulder and grinned up at them.  
Nine cleared his throat for the third time, distracting Judas from their mission and getting the plan back on track. Feeling his face flush in embarrassment, Gerard all but jumped out of their arms and tried to look professional. Nine sighed loudly, and went back to directing the group to their various positions.  
Once the setup was complete, he gestured to Gerard, who slipped forward with Runo to set it ablaze. As soon as he touched the flame down, they both sprinted away before turning around to watch their handiwork. Smiling broadly, they high-fived as firelight started to bathe the empty walls.  
“That’s a wrap, squad,” said Noah, “let’s move out and grab our triangle player.” Judas stayed behind for a minute alongside Gerard, who was enthralled by the leaping tongues of flame.  
They bent down and kissed his cheek softly. “Come on, babe, let’s go,” they whispered. Their boyfriend grumbled but took their hand and went along with them, ultimately winding up wrapped around them in their shared bed at the apartment.  
Unable to sleep but unwilling to disturb him, they stroked his hair gently, smiling at how he shifted closer to them and almost purred at the affection. From outside the door came a loud crash, Runo yelping, and Dave yelling “Nothing to see here! NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!” Ah. Good old normal.


End file.
